We squeeze our besties\u2019 hands together to form\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A circle. A group. A gang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A hive. Radiate love like heat from a lightbulb. Our eyes laughing \u2018I love you. Stay with me, forever. You make me feel like I could do anything. I couldn\u2019t do anything without you. Never leave. Please don\u2019t ever leave me,\u2019 and\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Judas is going down; this will be actually hilarious.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Carly Morgan has betrayed us by taking a man who was not hers. As such, she will be sentenced, here, tonight, in front of everyone. The battle cry, some boy from Wickmoore mourns on stage. Year 11, two years above us and boring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s the only time boys are allowed at St. Monica\u2019s. Battle of the Bands, six \u2018til eight, on the last day before the Summer Holidays. He sings a song our parents play in the car, in a voice like Mrs Chance telling Veronica to get off the table, \u2018for the tenth time today.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Carly holds Veronica\u2019s hand on one side, Ava\u2019s on the other. Everyone loves Ava. She\u2019s the most popular girl in school and never did anything to anyone, and that\u2019s rare, a girl who\u2019s popular and nice. Tonight, Carly\u2019s going to pay for what she did to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Girls stick together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tonight, I\u2019m wearing my hair down, not in braids like Carly taught me to do the first time she invited me to her house.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOrange eyeshadow will bring out the blue in your eyes,\u201d she said, dabbing my lids. \u201cI look weird in long skirts, but flowing dresses are your thing,\u201d she used to tell me, all the time.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I borrowed one of Alisha\u2019s miniskirts to wear tonight, and a black eyeshadow from Veronica. I feel weird but look good. The girls say Devon keeps checking me out. Everyone wants Devon to check them out.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When Mum came to pick me up that day, I could hear her engine before she was half-way down Carly\u2019s road. Thing whirs like a plane taking off. But Carly said it wasn\u2019t that bad. Said she couldn\u2019t hear it and, anyway, her dad drives a van with his name on it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEric Morgan Removals. As if anyone needed to know my Dad did removals, in a grotty van. But don\u2019t tell anyone else,\u201d she said. \u201cSo embarrassing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou can trust me, obviously\u201d I told her. Best friends forever and all that.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We bet she doesn\u2019t shave. We\u2019ve heard it\u2019s a jungle down there. We saw it poking out in the changing rooms once. If someone starts drowning, don\u2019t worry about a rope, just chuck \u2018em one of Carly Morgan\u2019s pubes. Tramp. Have you seen that van in town? The Eric Morgan Removals one? That\u2019s her dad. Super grotty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We ask Ava if it\u2019s true. \u201cDid Carly sleep with your boyfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She doesn\u2019t say anything, confirms the worst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alisha pipes up, \u201cpretty much.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We know the girls have a plan to show her up in front of the boy she slept with, Ollie. We support them. There are some things you just don\u2019t do. If everyone went around stabbing their best friend in the back, well, an eye for an eye and all that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs that you?\u201d Devon asks me, pointing at a row of paintings on the far side of the hall.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah,\u201d I tell him, \u201cYear nine art project, self-portraits. So embarrassing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s really good,\u201d he says.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThanks,\u201d I say. But I didn\u2019t paint it, Carly did. And I painted the one of her, it\u2019s not as good. We spent most of that class painting each other\u2019s nails, talking about how terrifying tampons were and whether either of us had found a hole yet. We hadn\u2019t.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOllie is really funny,\u201d I told her, \u201cI really like him.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWant me to ask him out for you?\u201d she said.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I threatened to nail varnish her eyes shut if she told anyone.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI want to be the girl that all the guys fancy, but who\u2019s like – nah sorry, I\u2019m gay,\u201d she joked.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I asked what that was supposed to mean, and she said Devon was alright, she guessed.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Our whole class had a picture up there apart from Veronica. She wanted to use spray-paint for hers, but Miss said no because Melissa was asthmatic, so Veronica punched one of the glass panes in the classroom door and it cracked. She had to sit out of class for the rest of term. She still passed, though. She\u2019s the smartest girl I know.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Carly found Alisha crying, hiding on the science stairs, afterwards. \u201cShe\u2019s worried Veronica will get kicked out,\u201d she told me afterwards, \u201cshe doesn\u2019t want to lose her best friend.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou still coming up to dance?\u201d Devon asks.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, they are. How else are they going to get Carly back for what she did to Ava? Poor innocent boys, they don\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ollie is meant to be with Ava, it was about time she got a boyfriend, and he was nice, hadn\u2019t slept around like Devon. Carly was the prettiest, she was supposed to go out with Devon because he was the hot one and Ollie was less hot because he had spots, but Ava had braces, so they made the perfect couple. Queens need a king and we all liked Devon and they all liked Carly, it made perfect sense. And Ava and Ollie would have been so cute. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They all agreed. Sat around Alisha\u2019s table, eating her Mum\u2019s ravioli, which is banging, by the way. Carly would message Ollie, find out if he was into anyone, get him to talk to Ava. It was going to be perfect. But Carly wanted to muck it up. First, she turned Devon down, and then\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n A Queen isn\u2019t born, she\u2019s made, and Carly Morgan refused to be made.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ava is having second thoughts. We tell her Carly deserves it; remind her what Carly has done and of how funny it\u2019ll be. Remind her that everyone\u2019s been looking up to Carly when they should have been looking up to her, because she\u2019s actually nice. She\u2019s doesn\u2019t hurt people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI kinda like Carly,\u201d Ollie messaged me. \u201cDo you think she likes me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I hated her, I wanted to rip her hair out. I thought about screaming in her face and headbutting her. But after a minute of heavy breathing, I got dizzy, so just laid on my bed and cried. I didn\u2019t know how to fix it. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Veronica came over and I showed her the message. Alisha was close behind.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCarly\u2019s been hitting on Ollie,\u201d Veronica told her.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCarly\u2019s been talking to Ava\u2019s boyfriend behind our backs,\u201d Alisha told Melissa and all her other friends. She was friends with everyone.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah, Ava\u2019s Ollie.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAva\u2019s boyfriend cheated on her with Carly,\u201d Melissa told Brooke.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And I should have said it wasn\u2019t like that, because maybe it wasn\u2019t, but\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, you shouldn\u2019t betray your best friend. And Carly should have acted less pretty, and less cool. How was I ever supposed to compete with her?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe led him on, just like she leads on every boy she knows,\u201d I told Brooke.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Veronica and Alisha handled the plan and it\u2019s a good one. Battle of the Bands is coming up and Ollie will be there.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019ll get her on stage,\u201d they said. \u201cPeople will be talking about it for years.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We ignore her messages, don\u2019t speak to her unless she asks us a question directly, and she stays quiet, doesn\u2019t ask us if anything\u2019s wrong because that\u2019s how you start an argument.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We see her in the corridor and grin. Corridors go on forever, forcing us to face one another, no escape, nowhere to hide. She\u2019s got to keep walking and smile back otherwise it\u2019s a sign of aggression and she\u2019s saying she\u2019s got a problem. All of us smile, teeth out. If we were a few years younger we\u2019d have been growling.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n They set the plan in motion days ago. First, Ava messaged her\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, you up for Battle of the Bands? Mum asked if you wanted a lift. The boys are playing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And the others messaged Ollie and Devon, telling them they want to get on stage and dance with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Carly replies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOMG YES!\u201d with three hearts and \u201clove you,\u201d and we drive all the way to school in Mum\u2019s aeroplane car. She tells me she likes my hair. I don\u2019t speak for the entire journey.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat have I done?\u201d She finally asks.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNothing,\u201d I say.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We stand in silence. A group of girls shuffles past and one of them shouts \u201cslut.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I hand Carly my phone \u2013 the message from Ollie and she pretends to puke. Just like her. She makes everyone love her and then throws it back in their faces.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did you make him like you? It\u2019s not like you\u2019d have stopped being the pretty one. You\u2019d still be winning,\u201d I say.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n She laughs. Tells me she doesn\u2019t want to win Ollie and that she\u2019s gay anyway, as if it\u2019s nothing. She says she hasn\u2019t spoken to Ollie in months. Shows me her phone to prove it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n A three-month-old message from Ollie; vaguely pervy and unopened.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I try to tell her, \u201cWe have to get out of here,\u201d but the words are stuck and then Devon shouts into the mic\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, we\u2019re Brother, thanks for coming,\u201d Devon shouts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019re all up with the first tsst of Ollie\u2019s drum, and bless, they think it\u2019s for them, but it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We grab Carly, smiling, laughing. Come on, let\u2019s dance. She\u2019s smiling, laughing, thinks everyone\u2019s in love, again. Ava shakes her head, she\u2019s red and pulling at our arms but it\u2019s for her own good, there\u2019ll be a place for her when this is over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Devon points to them, gestures for them to get on stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ollie throws a wink and helps Alisha up and she pulls the others after her. The girls are climbing the stage like they\u2019re breaking out of prison and the teachers aren\u2019t happy about it and are waving about. But there\u2019s too many of us in front of the stage for them to do anything else, and we\u2019re pretending not to see them and that they can\u2019t see us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We know something big is about to happen. Change is coming. The air is hot and clammy, like it\u2019s about to rain. The teachers don\u2019t know, the boys don\u2019t know, but girls always know. We feel the curve of universal order descending into chaos as it bends over the tip of each nerve. We can detect a passive-aggressive smile across a gym hall, a giggle a note too high or low. Who\u2019s eating with who? Who\u2019s losing weight? Who\u2019s gaining weight? Who\u2019s wearing their bag over their butt? Who\u2019s wearing sweaters in Summer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n If Carly Morgan isn\u2019t top dog anymore, then who were we? Better? Worse? The ripples of trouble have crested into waves since the beginning of the week and now our ship is lurching on stage. Our Queen is weakening, splitting our allegiances. And a weak queen has got to go because girls need to stick together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Four girls dance on stage. Ava is shouting something to Carly, but Carly can\u2019t hear her. Alisha takes Ava\u2019s hands. They\u2019re dancing together and we\u2019re dancing with them. Veronica disappears behind the curtain and comes back with a fire bucket. She stands behind Carly and\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everything\u2019s gone silent. There\u2019s a tiny,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Plop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n as a piece of ravioli slides from Carly\u2019s head.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And, even the teachers don\u2019t move, they just stand with their mouths wide open, hypnotised by the ravioli plopping off the most popular girl in school.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Then Devon starts to laugh, and it spreads like a dam ripping apart and someone starts chanting.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSlut, Slut, Slut.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And they all join in and are having a really good time, but Carly\u2019s not laughing. She\u2019s staring at me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The boys are like, \u201cwhat\u2019s happening?\u201d And they just leave, and Mr Grant gets on the stage, and starts shouting into the mic, but no one\u2019s listening, and he doesn\u2019t know where to put his mouth so we can\u2019t really hear him anyway, and Mrs Chance is trying to get past us and Carly\u2019s still staring at me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n She thinks I can fix it. Make it stop. Because I\u2019m her best friend and if we\u2019ve got each other, we can do anything, but I can\u2019t. She tries to push past me, but I stop her. I tell her I\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t know this was going to happen. But she\u2019s starting to cry and pushes harder, pushes me into Alisha, who wobbles and falls backwards – Carly reaches out to grab her arms but misses \u2013 there\u2019s silence, again, until Alisha thuds into the floor and sends a column of howls bursting from the crowd.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The others jump down, too. Veronica pushes the monster away from Alisha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Get her Veronica. Smack the bitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Carly\u2019s crying. All an act. Claims it wasn\u2019t her fault and that Ava will tell them it\u2019s not true. We scan her, is this true?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did you try to kill Alisha?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you a liar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you not fit to be our Queen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Should you be the one crying and covered in pasta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ava shrugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Fuck you\u2019, Carly hisses at me. And she starts shouting. She starts screaming.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI didn\u2019t do anything. I\u2019ve never slept with anyone. I barely even spoke to Ollie, ask him. Ava lied to everyone because she\u2019s jealous of me. She told me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n She pulls out her phone, to show them the message and they\u2019re looking and she\u2019s right and I know I\u2019m screwed so I shout back.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, Carly\u2019s been leading Devon on this whole time to hide that she\u2019s actually a lesbian. So, if anyone\u2019s a liar…\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We ask her if it\u2019s true. She doesn\u2019t defend herself, just stares at Ava. It\u2019s true. She is a liar. A slut liar. She looks for an escape. Not over the stage, the teachers are there trying to round up the girls who wanted to watch the fight from above. Can\u2019t go left because the girl she betrayed is standing in her way and there\u2019s no way she\u2019s pushing past anger management Veronica on the right. So, she comes for us. She walks into us, and we part to let her through, and the other girls follow, and we close behind them. She gets deeper and deeper and Ava\u2019s grabbing her, trying to talk to her, but she\u2019s pushing her off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then Veronica\u2019s behind her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey Carly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pull her hair. She ignores us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pull it harder, grab her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She\u2019s still pushing through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCarly!\u201d We shout. \u201cWe\u2019re just trying to talk. You\u2019re so rude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And we stop moving, she\u2019s in the middle and no one moves in front of her. No one moves behind. It\u2019s 7:50, but the teachers have opened the door early and are shooing people out. They\u2019re on the outside, trying to push through us but we\u2019re firm. Girls stick together. Carly turns around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Say something then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veronica smacks her in the face, and it makes us jump and shut up because no one was expecting it to sound like that<\/em>. We thought heads were hollow, but it thuds, a dull thunk, like dropping your phone on a concrete floor. Carly just stands there; she can\u2019t believe it\u2019s happened. Veronica\u2019s shouting in her face but no one\u2019s home and then Veronica\u2019s pushing her, and we start shouting again and eventually Carly pushes back, just once, and Veronica loses it. Carly starts screaming and hitting back but Veronica\u2019s pushed her on the floor, is sat on top of her and is pulling her hair with one hand and punching and scratching her face with the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just stand there. Don\u2019t do anything. None of us do. Alisha\u2019s crying, screeching at Veronica to stop.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n What could I do?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I shout,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cStop!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHit me instead.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHate me instead.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m the reason the group\u2019s falling apart.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLook at me, it\u2019s all my fault!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Apart from, I don\u2019t. I just stand there. And it\u2019s 7:54 when Mr Grant pulls Veronica off Carly.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The teachers are trying to get everyone out and I help Carly to the nurse\u2019s office. Clean the blood out of her eye, find her a clean top in a box of spare gym kits.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n In the car on the way home, she holds my hand, silently tells me she still loves me. \u2018Stay with me, forever. You make me feel like I can do anything.\u2019 She doesn\u2019t care that I let Veronica beat her up, or that I told everyone her Dad drives a grotty removals van, or about the gay thing. She understands. She understands what it means to be Queen.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And she has no one else.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We find a clump of purple hair on the floor, Veronica\u2019s, and give it back to her, because, let\u2019s face it, it\u2019s hilarious. Alisha\u2019s losing it, squatting, crying and panting on the floor. Probably because of the fall on her head. We keep trying to talk to her, but she keeps swearing at us. Mrs Chance gets her to stand up and practically carries her to an empty classroom. We\u2019re not allowed in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We go home, sit with our parents, stroke our dogs, cats, watch weird videos, go to bed, talk about it for the next week on Facebook and then forget about it. Veronica would be in trouble, but no one will grass and say she started it and it\u2019s the end of the year, so nothing will happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Our Queen\u2019s been dethroned. Next year, one of her daughters will fill the vacuum created by her downfall and things will be normal, again. Greasy Ollie will be dating some skank from Lordswood. Ava\u2019s braces will be gone, and she\u2019ll be the prettiest girl in school. She\u2019ll be running St. Monica\u2019s with her best friend by her side. Her best friend who\u2019ll be slightly less pretty than her, because of the moon shaped scar she\u2019ll have just above her right eyebrow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We squeeze our besties\u2019 hands together to form\u2026 A circle. A group. A gang. A hive. Radiate love like heat from a lightbulb. Our eyes laughing \u2018I love you. Stay with me, forever. You make me feel like I could do anything. I couldn\u2019t do anything without you. Never leave. Please don\u2019t ever leave me,\u2019 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,238],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/232"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=232"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/232\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mudassirbackup.infinitycodestudio.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}